(For my regulars, they will know I am a bit of a complaint letter pro. I don’t do it just because, I only do it if I feel quite strongly that the HQ should know about poor service/staff. Anyway….)
So, about…oooh, half an hour ago, I got the chocolate craving, so Mr Candy went out to get me a Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut bar for me – alas….there were barely any nuts in mine and about one raisin! In the old days it was like crunch crunch through the nuts.
Being a saddo, I ed this, and fellow er @zoella told me that Cadbury’s are pretty good with complaints so I rustled this up in 5 mins and have sent it off.
Below is exactly what I sent them. Shall I let you know how they respond?
I’m writing this email, not trying to offend,
But I’m eating a Fruit & Nut Bar and its driving me round the bend –
I sent out the Mr, because I needed some nuts,
“How about a Wispa instead?”
I said “No – now move your fat butt.”
Now I’ve eaten almost half whilst watching tv,
But the only nut I’ve found was the size of a pea.
What about the raisins? I need my five a day –
But I can’t see any – I won’t get vitamins this way!
So I hope you can tell me where the nuts have all gone,
The LOT code is L-9-2-3-0-N and B-1
Seamus Heaney should be scared, right?
Was I right to complain?
Will they send round the men in white coats?